Divorce, does it have to get nasty?

Everyone knows someone that suffered the torments of hell going through divorce, and you also probably know someone who pulled it off without much fuss. Why are some divorces sensible and others catastrophic? Well that depends on various factors, including the personalities of the people involved, the importance of what's at stake, and sometimes on how much you rely on lawyers and courts to resolve troublesome issues. In general, the less you use the court, the less cost and heartache you'll have -- and in many cases, you'll get a better final result.

In theory, at least, it's simple: You usually do best if you and your spouse work out thorny issues together, perhaps with help from a neutral third person, such as a mediator or a trusted attorney. You keep control over such vital matters as how your children will be raised, what happens to the family home, and how your property will be divided. If you and your spouse can work these issues out yourselves -- and many, if not most, couples can -- you will save yourselves time, money, and anguish. More important, you will spare your children the ugly spectacle of extended parental fights, helping them come through the divorce as undamaged as possible.

If you are able to resolve the big questions of children, money, and property, you then just need to petition the court, in writing, to grant a divorce. But how do you make sure that each party will keep their word when an issue pops up in the future.  It's best to have an attorney draft your divorce papers to ensure that both parties will stick to their commitments.  There is a reason you are getting divorced, and usually trust is one component. So make sure you have a clear understanding in writing to make sure each party will be held accountable.

If the situation gets testy you become emotionally distraught or angry, turning all the details and hassle of a divorce over to a divorce lawyer may seem like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, it doesn't always simplify things. It's all about the lawyer you hire, so it's critically important that you find the right one. If you want a lawyer's help but you still want to keep your divorce civil, make sure you hire a lawyer who will support that approach. When you interview lawyers you're considering, ask them whether they feel favorable about negotiating a settlement rather than fighting it out in court. Lawyers operate under a prime directive: the zealous pursuit of their client's interests. If you make sure to let the lawyer know that your interest is in an amicable divorce, then that's what you should get.

Unfortunately, some lawyers make it a practice to be as aggressive as possible, and if your spouse finds a lawyer like that, you may have to fight fire with fire. In these cases, unfortunately, the battle can go on and on, intensifying in passion, until the clients run out of money and limp to the settlement table.

Worse, if there are children, the fight depletes not only your pocketbook, but also your children's sense of security. Once the legal fight is over, trying to establish a normal ongoing parenting relationship between both parents and the children can be very difficult.

The Foulger Law Group listens to you and your needs.  We will custom tailor your divorce strategies around your objectives and your pocketbook.  There are times when you may want to be aggressive, such as child support and visitation, and other time when you are more cooperative. At the Foulger Law Group we want to be your advocate, we will advise you as to the strengths and weakness of your concerns and give you the honest answers and it may not be what you want to hear.  We believe in be upfront and letting you be the decision making. So if you or anyone you know needs a good honest divorce attorney please call Jason Foulger at the Foulger Law Group at 801-623-6766 in Provo or 801-682-1199 in Salt Lake City